Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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