It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
