I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
