can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
