youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
