I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
