Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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