Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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