five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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