It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
