I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i love accidental penises.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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