I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
