It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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