I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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