My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Who died my cat blue again?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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