After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
