remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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