I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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