She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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