apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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