his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
as a side note pls kill me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
