Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
