Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
