He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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