her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
