So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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