Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
