She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
