im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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