I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
