It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I love having hate sex.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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