Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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