You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
