Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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