So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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