got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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