Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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