Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Actions speak louder than pants.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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