Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
