just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
