Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
When did angry sex become our thing?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
