hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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