i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
