I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
