she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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