What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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