I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
