idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
