the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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