Acid is not a monday night drug
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
