Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
