we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
