so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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