When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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