So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
