Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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